Jola CX2 Cola
Manufacturer: Wet Planet Beverages
Typical Price (UK): £2.60 (inc VAT)
Typical Price (US): $2.25 (exc tax)
Rich: Right, if you hear… [depressurising pop] oo, wow!
Clive: It’s pressurised then? And smoking…
Harry: Jolt smoke!
Mark: It’s like liquid nitrogen.
[laughter]
Harry: Okay, this is the Jolt Power Cola. It comes in a huge battery-shaped can. Because it’s energerific, or something?
Click to enlarge
Clive: ‘Cus the first thing you want to be drinking is battery fluid…
Rich: Yeah, clearly…
Rich: It looks thicker than normal cola…
Clive: [Laughs]
Mark: Just, first impressions – smell it. It smells like the cheapest, nastiest cola.
Harry: It does smell like Tesco Value cola.
Clive: Eeuurrgh, it really does, yeah.
Harry: [Chuckles]
Rich: It smells like liquorice cola, it’s weird.
Mark: It’s bad… smells bad.
Harry: Right, well, bottoms up.
Clive: Yeah, just tastes like nasty cola. Oh, rich has had to spit his out.
Rich: Yergh! Thass disgusting.
Clive: That’s a fail.
Mark: It’s just bad, it’s just bad cola.
Harry: It does taste like literally the cheapest, nastiest Tesco value, 10p a bottle cola.
Rich: It just tastes of syrup.
Harry: Yeah, or really bad… when you get a really horrible pint of coke at a pub.
All: Yeah.
Harry: And they haven’t cleaned the tubes for a while.
Rich: Ahh, what’s the other one? We’ve got a yellow jolt as well, and that one’s a red jolt. Oh, it’s passion fruit.
Mark: OMG, passion fruit cola…
Clive: Apparently the first ingredient in jolt cola is carbonated water, the second one is high-fructose corn syrup… I think that tells you all you need to know.
Rich: Yeah…
Clive: So that was a bit of a fail.
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